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To be or Not to be...

I was in first year of my college and was wondering what to do with the time I have. Largely I didn’t knew what I was doing and why I was doing. I was following cults, trends and books that catered the imagination of pop-culture. But I was not really doing that created a meaningful connection with my inner self. But meanwhile I had a hugest of crush on this girl.

One fine day, when the curiosity to know the girl superseded the shyness. I went up to her after the short break. She was standing in front of the programming lab with her friends. She was looking beautiful with an unique hairdo, she had deep dark eyes, and a beatific smile.

“Excuse me miss can I have two minutes of yours?” I asked putting on my most polite behaviour. I directed her away from the group. But in between the shyness was winning over. I could come up only with this, “Can we meet after the practical session or during the weekend.” I said. “But I am going to pune this weekend.” She said in a matter of fact tone. “Um.. then let’s meet for lunch.” I said. She made a subtle judgement and asked me “Why?”. I wasn’t really expecting a why.

I needed a second to find my words. Now the shyness was debilitating. “Um, I..., this might get weird... I don’t know, this happened during the fresher’s party, I ...I was mesmerised by your grace and I was wondering who is this girl from B division.” I said slightly looking away from her. She blushed and looked down, her face had reddened. “You are the one who drew Heisenberg in the fresher’s party right?” She said. “Yes I did.” I said shaking hands with her. She had beautiful pair of hands. “You can come to my class in the lunch.” She said. “I would definitely come.” I said as I said my bye for the moment.

I couldn’t focus in the practical session that day my heart was thudding and I thought my rib cage would explode. I could feel my pulse racing and at the same time a feeling of churning in my core. For the first time in my life I understood why the girl we dream about is called our crush. I waited for the last five minutes of the practical session to get over. I raced down the stairs to find her in the classroom but she wasn’t there. I went in the canteen but she wasn’t there . I came up and stood in the corridor but couldn’t find her. Finally I gave up on the idea and entered my classroom.

I had my tiffin and as I was having leaving to wash my hands I saw the girl I liked having her tiffin with her friends. Ten minutes where left in the recess and I could see her right in front of me, I was in dilemma to be or not to be. I could have gone ahead and talked with her. But then this was not supposed to be a that kind of a story.

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